I'm sitting in one of our usual bars (colonnetta) in readiness for one of the most important events of the year. While Messrs Monti and Merkal are nutting out the economic future of the continent the Italians are more concerned with the important stuff - the footie. As Germany and go up against the Azzuri in the European Championship semi final I'm going to attempt to blog my way through the next 90 (give or take stoppages and extra time) minutes. Apologies in advance but I'm no football expert. Joining me are JH, and a bar full of nervous looking Italians.
8.40 and the teams come out, the bar is filling up. Anthem time – lights out in bar. Unlike the English players the Italians seem
to know the words to their anthem. First
impression the striking difference there is remarkably little alcohol on the
tables.
8.50 and we off.- Am wondering how long it is before the commentators use the words efficiency and German in the same sentence. Germany have possession and have already looked like they are going to score - Raji has already uttered whooooo
A free kick to Germany outside the box. Good save from Buffon, interesting point the time is not on screen - how long do I have to sit here? No friggin idea.
A free kick to Germany outside the box. Good save from Buffon, interesting point the time is not on screen - how long do I have to sit here? No friggin idea.
note from JH "Germany are on them like flies on shit" - Anglo language just what I'm used to.
Italians have possession for about two minutes a bit of excitement in the bar Germany retake and it's back to business as usual.
10.42 mins and my attention wavering.
11.57 and Germany nearly score in the bar they're complaining about the goalkeeper - the hero of the last game - how fickle.
15.53 - did I really just see one of the Italian coaching staff smoking in the dug out?
16.57 Italy shot on goal - brief piece of excitement and a round of applause. Starting to look two sided for the first time according to JH and another great shot.
19.23 ITALYYYYYYYYYYYY! photos, screams, and one nil to the azzuri! Lots of goal celebration and hugging amongst the Italian team. Word in the bar is if Italy win then Merkal will make sure the country pays.
24.55 and JH has gone to get me another prosecco
26.00 2nd prosecco for me and the 1st for JH who is ignoring the fact he is on antibiotics - have told him on his head be it.
28.26 nothing worth writing about according to JH
31.50 - shirt pulling on Balotelli causes some consternation amongst the Italians - the fact that Mario Balotelli seems to have gone to the barber and asked for a Brazilian is troubling me more.
33.56 Italy endanger the German goal but player falls down in box - third whooooo from me.
35 ish another good safe from Buffon - now a hero again
ITALYYYYYYYYYY! Balotelli again looks like it's bad news for Italy and the Euro - bet Monti will have a smile on his face as he greets Angela tomorrow. In the bar the Italians are laughing at a weeping German fan on the screen.
The only German in the bar just asked JH and me if we are supporting Germany.
JH just did a mock German accent - hoping it's the only one of the night.
OK 40th minute only another five until half time apparently
JH just asked if he looks German - not sure why
Italian player on the ground cry of AMBULANCE in the bar - looks like patrons know the whole simulation thing - Note to fellow English teachers am using the technical term simulation which I learnt in New English File intermediate lesson 1B, narrative tenses.
One minute of extra time - this is not fair
46 minutes and the half time whistle blows - mass exodus for a smoke. We think that the Germans are not playing as well as they should - note we is JH here.
HALF TIME - Bar staff wondering just what the hell I'm doing. JH thinking the Germans will make a comeback in the second half - can they do it? are Italy in the final? how many proseccos will I get through? lets see
Italians have possession for about two minutes a bit of excitement in the bar Germany retake and it's back to business as usual.
10.42 mins and my attention wavering.
11.57 and Germany nearly score in the bar they're complaining about the goalkeeper - the hero of the last game - how fickle.
15.53 - did I really just see one of the Italian coaching staff smoking in the dug out?
16.57 Italy shot on goal - brief piece of excitement and a round of applause. Starting to look two sided for the first time according to JH and another great shot.
19.23 ITALYYYYYYYYYYYY! photos, screams, and one nil to the azzuri! Lots of goal celebration and hugging amongst the Italian team. Word in the bar is if Italy win then Merkal will make sure the country pays.
24.55 and JH has gone to get me another prosecco
26.00 2nd prosecco for me and the 1st for JH who is ignoring the fact he is on antibiotics - have told him on his head be it.
28.26 nothing worth writing about according to JH
31.50 - shirt pulling on Balotelli causes some consternation amongst the Italians - the fact that Mario Balotelli seems to have gone to the barber and asked for a Brazilian is troubling me more.
33.56 Italy endanger the German goal but player falls down in box - third whooooo from me.
35 ish another good safe from Buffon - now a hero again
ITALYYYYYYYYYY! Balotelli again looks like it's bad news for Italy and the Euro - bet Monti will have a smile on his face as he greets Angela tomorrow. In the bar the Italians are laughing at a weeping German fan on the screen.
The only German in the bar just asked JH and me if we are supporting Germany.
JH just did a mock German accent - hoping it's the only one of the night.
OK 40th minute only another five until half time apparently
JH just asked if he looks German - not sure why
Italian player on the ground cry of AMBULANCE in the bar - looks like patrons know the whole simulation thing - Note to fellow English teachers am using the technical term simulation which I learnt in New English File intermediate lesson 1B, narrative tenses.
One minute of extra time - this is not fair
46 minutes and the half time whistle blows - mass exodus for a smoke. We think that the Germans are not playing as well as they should - note we is JH here.
HALF TIME - Bar staff wondering just what the hell I'm doing. JH thinking the Germans will make a comeback in the second half - can they do it? are Italy in the final? how many proseccos will I get through? lets see
Players emerging,nicotined up fans returning to tables - my drink getting low
Germany has made a substitution apparently
and the second half is off!
Still no mention of German and efficiency - The germans have brought on Klose - Raji wants him to get a near miss on goal so she can type it's close from Klose.
Near miss from the Germans - not Klose unfortunately
47.50 - Italian with a face full of ball - looks painful
48.59 Germans look like they've come back with a bit of purpose - yes we may be single handedly keeping the Euro afloat but this is serious.
50.52 two empty glasses on the table - time to send JH to the bar
51.40 shouting in the bar - not sure why JH and I debating who pays for the next drink.
52.50 - if anyone's interested it was me
Note from JH "Germany are just falling to pieces" - not looking good for the efficiency quote that I'm after.
56.53 close up of Italian player and I notice what a terrible stripe effect the Italian shirts have - looks a bit 80 woman's office casual - not sure it's the look the Italians are going for.
58.40 Mario that really is a stupid haircut
60.00 and yellow card for an Italian defender - Bonucci - he looks suitably pained.
62.18 - all the players are sporting black armbands - it's an anti racism thing according to JH. Raji is wondering if the Italian cartoonist who portrayed Balotelli as King Kong got the message.
63.50 - Italian player just easily gave possession away and Raji just felt affronted
67.56 Balotelli down - cramp JH informs me - time for the magic sponge. Di Natale ("of Christmas" which makes me like him all the more) on for Balotelli
70.12 all those proseccos are beginning to hit, thinking of food.
70.52 from JH "Germany are out of this match"
71.32 JH informs me that the Poms say two world wars, one world cup when the English play Germany - and I'm remined why I don't barrack for any team.
74.54 - what's wrong with just passing it! two Italians in the box German defender trips over his feet and they don't score - should have passed instead of going for glory for yourself - teamwork people!
77.29 - lost concentration and am laughing at funny posts on facebook
79.27 "the Germans are playing rugby" JH 10.25 28/06/12
80.00 brief bit of excitement undermined by about 30 players slipping, tripping and generally falling down -yes it's keystone football
82.15 - Raji surprises herself by knowing and understanding the offside rule - where did that come from?
84.00 need to pee, can I hold out for 6 minutes plus extra time?
85.47 - JH off on another prosecco mission
87.27 camera cuts to fans dressed as super Mario - nice way to break the stereotype!
89th minute don't see the Germans coming back from this - Monti can start getting his gloating face on
90th passed 4 mins of extra time - seriously need to pee
Penalty to Germany - Handball in the box apparently. Germany score! suddenly game is on again
Balotelli with hoodie on and head in hands - yes I would too if I had that hair
20 seconds victory in the air, this bar is about to errupt - YESSSSSSSSSSS!
Italy are in the final = bar playing we are the champions and a guy I don't know just kissed me.
Post game - you would not believe the queue for the bathroom - cazzo
That was a fantastic! I'm still chuckling
ReplyDeletelove it! esp the face full of ball, I shouldn't laugh but I am
ReplyDelete